I vividly remember the car rides home from school where I would recount the good and bad of my day to my mother. It would usually consist of the latest gossip from the lunch table or who got in trouble in class. Back then I would hang onto every word that the “popular” girls would say. I say popular with quotes because my school consists of a long hallway which only held 30 students per class. To be popular in my school wasn’t really a choice because everyone knew everyone. It was more so who was the prettiest and the most liked. Those were the people that were popular and I guess it’s probably like that in every school but I still feel like my school was a little different.
So back to the car ride . . . My mother would listen to every word I said and then respond right before taking a small breath, “Those girls aren’t really your friends.” What?!?! Come on Mom. You really don’t know what you’re talking about. She continued to tell me how the girls in my class were not good for me and that I shouldn’t hang onto their every word. The conversation continued to go back and forth. I trying to fight for the strength of my friendship with these girls and my mom trying to convince me that she knows better. The argument would usually end with my mom responding as she always does in these situations, ”One day you’ll see and you’ll thank me.” I would then quietly tuck this conversations a way so that in 10 or 15 years I could tell her she was wrong and I was right “ah ha”. But of course my mother was right and they really weren’t my real friends. Through life I realized that finding a real friend is a treasure and something that should not be given to every Tom Dick and Harry.
Not until college did I find the person that I would deem as my real friend. Someone who did not seek out my friendship for selfish motivations but for genuine companionship. We have been friends for five years our closeness has only grown during this time. She is the only person that I can’t lie to or hide who I truly am. We finish each other sentences before they are even spoken and I would say she is my friend soul mate. I believe our friendship is truly for a lifetime.
Since I have this wonderful friend in my life that I can’t seem to do without (I went almost mad when she went away for training for 2 weeks – the episode reached its peak with a quick cry in the bathroom at work) what do I do with the friends that I can live without? I currently am fixed between friends that lives are surrounded with constant drama and to tell the truth I fear for their wellbeing. These friends I treasure because they know where I came from and know who I am. But now that I know what kind of friend I want and what and need in my life, am I suppose to dismiss them just because they don’t make the cut. Have I outgrown them now that I truly understand what a true friend is? Will I no longer buy my favorite cheap wine once I’ve been to Napa Valley? Are German chocolates really better than the chocolate in a Milky Way? I’m not sure. I don’t know. And German chocolate is a little overrated in my opinion – very good but I’m happy with my American chocolate. It would hurt to distance myself from them but for now I will surround myself with my new lesson in a true friend.
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